Elderberry Wine
by Wandererzaehler
Summary: Someone has set a bunch of venomous frogs loose in Camelot's kitchen - and, as it happens, this someone has had a plan all along... / One-shot, funny/romantic fluff (or so I like to believe). Features Gwaine's left boot, brightly-coloured frogs, a picnic-blanket and an anniversary. Oh, and Elderberry Wine.


**Elderberry Wine**

"How many did you say there were?"

"I didn't. Half a dozen", Merlin answered.

"Half a _dozen_?!", Gwaine asked incredulously and sighed.

"Well, they are pretty small, Cook said. Barely more than a mouthful each."

Gwaine sighed: "Let's better get to work, or no one is getting anything to eat at all. And you owe me a drink."

While Gwaine was going through the vast arrayof pots and bowls, Merlin was working in the pantry. Both the warlock and his friend wore thick leather gloves for protection and moved slowly and deliberately so as not to miss any kind of movement, no matter how small it might be. They had asked the kitchen staff to stay away while they were searching, so the kitchen was unusually quiet.

"Why she ordered them in the first place is what I don't understand", Gwaine said a little later while he carefully lifted one of the cooking-pots to look behind it.

"Apparently they taste rather delicious once they're cooked", Merlin answered and couldn't help but grin. "When I told Arthur about it, he said he'd never in his life eaten one of them and how the idea alone was appalling. Apparently the thought who else but him should eat them never occurred to him."

"Couldn't she have them delivered any other way?"

"Dead, you mean?" Merlin had gone through a crate with deliciously smelling apples without noticing anything amiss and stored two of them in his shirt for later. Then he moved on to a sack in which he found salt. Deciding that it was not likely they'd be hiding in there, he went on to a shelf on which newly-baked bread was cooling down. "They don't stay fresh long enough."

"Ouch!", Gwaine exclaimed suddenly, making Merlin jump and rush to his aid worriedly: "What happened? Did one of them touch you?"

"No", the knight said and grinned guiltily: "I just burned my tongue. This soup his really, really hot."

Merlin gave him a scolding look and returned to the larder: "This really is not the time to eat, Gwaine!"

While the knight was grumbling something about never getting paid properly considering the risks they had to take on, Merlin took one of the smaller loaves from the shelf he was examining and stored it in an empty basket, adding the two apples he had previously tucked in his shirt and then resumed his looking around.

"How did they get loose in the first place?", the knight asked and sighed.

"No idea", Merlin said, maybe a bit too fast, but Gwaine didn't notice: "Merlin! I've seen a thingummy!"

He sounded rather excited to finally have caught sight of what they were hunting for.

"Where?" Merlin rushed to his side, straining his eyes to see it.

"It hopped – there! You see it?"

"Yes!" Merlin grabbed one of the empty pots, removed the lid and slowly moved nearer to where they had seen it hop towards... - the tiny, brown frog noticed Merlin approaching and made another, instinctively larger jump – the warlock moved the pot and the frog landed in it, producing a dissatisfied croaking seconds before Gwaine, who had grabbed the lid, slammed it onto the pot again.

"We've got it!", Merlin rejoiced.

"There's another one!"

Within a few minutes, they had caught five frogs, the brown one, two in vibrant green that had hid in the salad and gave their position away when one of them started croaking, a deeply purple one which had foolishly tried to hide in a bunch of radishes, and a second brown one amongst the potatoes. But the last one remained missing, and by now they had gone through the whole of the kitchen and the larder twice.

"Maybe it has got away?"

"I hope not", Merlin said, "they are mildly venomous and dangerous for the very young and the very old at least."

"And they smell."

"What?"

"They smell", Gwaine repeated, "haven't you noticed?"

"No... not until now, anyway." Merlin wrinkled his nose in disgust: "Actually, I think this smell is new."

They both looked around, and suddenly Merlin started laughing: "I found the last one!" He pointed toward Gwaine's left foot, under which the edge of a tiny, blue leg was visible. This was also where the smell was coming from, getting worse with every passing minute.

While the knight hurried off to get rid of his boot, Merlin returned the pot in which they had collected the five remaining frogs to the desk in the kitchen. He made sure the lid was on properly before he went back in the larder, took the basket with the two apples and the loaf of bread and calmly added a big slice of cheese and some tomatoes. He filled a flask with the elderberry wine Cook had reserved for Arthur personally and added it to the basket as well.

He hesitated for a moment, then filled a second flask as well and took another one of the delicious apples before he left the kitchen.

* * *

An hour later, he had found Gwaine and rewarded him with the apple and the wine as thanks for his help with the frogs and as extra payment for covering for him if anyone asked where he had gone to.

He reached the clearing in the wood where they were supposed to meet a bit later, his face flushed with excitement.

A blanket was already spread out in the last rays of sunshine. A stream was bubbling close by, and the birds were singing happily. There were cushions, as well, loads of them, and another blanket should it get cooler once the sun was down.

Morgana's face lit up with the special smile she reserved just for him when she saw him arriving with the basket: "You made it! I wasn't sure."

Merlin smiled lightly, made a mocking bow and answered: "I always come when you call, Milady. You should know by now."

He knelt down, slowly unpacking his earnings from the basket one by one.

"I know it's not much", he said, acting like he was suddenly self-conscious, like he had been for such a long time when he was around her, "and you're used to better things than these."

Morgana's smile deepened as she played along: "As long as I'm sharing with you, even a piece of dry bread would be delicious."

The warlock grinned: "Sadly, I did bring cheese. And this." His smile widened when he showed her the flask with the wine.

"How did you get this?", she laughed after she had sniffed at the deep-red fluid. "I thought Cook guarded it with her very life?"

"I set a bunch of poisonous frogs loose in the kitchen to get rid of her."

Morgana kept laughing, and then, when he remained serious, she stopped with a curious expression: "Tell me all about it", she pleaded.

He moved closer and kissed her, breaking away before either of them had nearly enough and said teasingly: "I'll tell you later. But for now: Happy anniversary!"

* * *

 _ **A/N:** I woke up one morning with an untidy scrawl on my left hand I had real trouble deciphering, because I had written it at 2 am the night before in rather bad light, with an almost empty pen and without a single sheet of paper close by and while I was already half-asleep again. _

_Honestly – why do I have a notebook when I can't find it when I need it._

 _When I finally did get the scrawl's meaning, I dimly remembered having a really weird dream which included frogs, a cook and someone I'm not entirely sure was Merlin..._

 _But thanks to that untidy scrawl, I never got rid of the idea and so here it is. I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are appreciated._


End file.
